I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
