i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
