just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Pooping to opera.
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