I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
