no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
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