I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
