I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize