Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
We have started to decorate penises.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
