I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
