U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
