areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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