Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
There's always time for handjobs
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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