I wish my penis had an off switch
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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