I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Randomize