Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
