Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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