i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Is her dick bigger than yours?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
