There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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