It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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