who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
