OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
why do cheetos always look like penises
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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