i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
