Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
