didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
