Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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