why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
