I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
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