I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i would one night stand the shit outta him
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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