I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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