what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
