I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
