So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
