Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
