All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Randomize
