i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
