I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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