I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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