My first STD was from a foam party
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
BRING THE BAGELS
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
