we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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