no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
