the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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