my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
