8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
