and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
