Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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