i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Can I color on your dick again?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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