Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
