No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
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