What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize
