Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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