Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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