My sheets look like a crime scene.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
