If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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