WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
