he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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