I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Randomize
