I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
