i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I am naked and annoyed.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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