Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Randomize
