you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
