you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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