at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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