i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I just blew my weed a kiss
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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