Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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