Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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