My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
