Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
