trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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