Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
