well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
